Live Adventurously

It is now six days before our Voices for Creative Nonviolence UK delegation leaves for two weeks in Kabul.  We had our final preparation meeting last Sunday and set up media coverage and made all sorts of practical decisions.  Despite anxieties I am feeling confident and hopeful.  We have certainly done the groundwork necessary, both individual and collective, and we are all clear about our objectives.  It is wonderful to be going to Afghanistan as part of the wider Voices for Creative Nonviolence and communication from them has been thorough and encouraging.  I feel very comfortable with my four companions and we are different in age and character but united in our aims.   It is encouraging to see how we are all supporting each others’ projects and offering help.

Personally, the past few weeks have been at times fearful and at times exciting.  I find that if I am not dealing with my day to day life in an ordered fashion, fears about the trip grow.  If I live in the day and do the things required of me, then I become more positive.

Apart from practicalities like shopping for warm clothes, writing a will, making sure I have all necessary documents and photographs, I’ve been preparing myself mentally.  Maya recommended that we read “Ghosts of Afghanistan” and relevant entries in the “Lonely Planet ” guide.  Such reading helps to concentrate the mind and I find that if I spend some time each day reading about Afghanistan then fears subside.   Other reading consists of  “The Brothers Karamazov”!  I’ve signed up for a ten week course on the book, starting in January and I’ve been reading it in audio form.  It’s serious and entertaining enough to be an ideal read before spending two weeks unable to read anything.  Let me explain.

Because of my visual impairment I am unable to read without the aid of magnification.  Being unwilling to take anything to Afghanistan that is precious or difficult to replace, apart from myself, I won’t be taking my magnifying glasses.  I’ve come to realise that I have enough material in my head and heart to keep me going for many hours!  After all, I am sixty six and have a good memory and vivid imagination.  The same goes for writing as well as reading.  I can no longer write with pen and paper, which is why I’m reduced to keeping an online journal to share my thoughts with friends.  So, I’ve bought a simple battery operated voice recorder to record my thoughts and impressions while in Afghanistan.  I can then use these reflections to write up accounts for the journal on return.  Wordsworth’s “emotion recollected in tranquility” is my method!  I neither like nor trust the immediacy of internet communication; information without wisdom is a phrase I recently heard and feel it sums up my distrust.  Even composing these journal entries takes me several days and I’m not a prolific writer, as can be seen by the number of posts since August.

I’m now signing off until January, trusting in God that whatever happens it’s meant to be.

Yesterday, 21 September, our delegation met to continue our preparations for our journey to Afghanistan.  We are four in number at present but there is a fifth person who has not been able to make the meetings yet.  We hope she will join us for our community building in October.

Maya, Beth, Ariadne and myself met up at Caffe Nero in Kensington and set off for our first visit to the Afghan Embassy which is opposite Hyde Park.  Our intention was to apply for our visas but, although we had everything else, we discovered we needed letters of invitation.  Hopefully these will come soon and we were not too disappointed not to get the process underway yeaterday.  We all feel more confident now about returning to the embassy to deliver our papers.

After Kensington, we decided to visit Whitechapel to shop!  We hopped on the District Line and were soon in the market.  Our aim?  To buy shalwar kameez to wear  in Afghanistan!  Really, all we need are clothes which cover us and are loose fitting, so that we don’t look too Western and so that we can wear thermals underneath!  It will be very cold!

After Whitechapel, we took off for Kings Cross and the Peace News office for the most exciting part of our day.

The group we shall be staying with, Afghan Peace Volunteers, hold a Global Day of Listening on the 21st of each month.  By using the internet, skype and telephones, it is possible to set up a time to speak to them.  They stay connected all day and speak to many groups from all around the world.  Someone from the Voices for Creative Nonviolence coordinates the conversations and yesterday it was Kathy Kelly, founder of VCNV and a frequent visitor to Afghanistan.  Indeed, she may well be there when we go in December.  I met Kathy many times whilst I was living in the States and she is keen that I go to Afghanistan because of our house of hospitality in Oxford, St. Francis House, which is an example of people from different countries and  cultures living together.  She is a remarkable woman and has been visiting and supporting people in war zones for many years.  She was in Iraq throughout the early months of the U.S. bombing in 2003.

As we joined the skype conversation, a group of students from Long Island, New York had just finished their slot.  Linked by Kathy we introduced ourselves and the young men in Kabul introduced themselves.  They asked us questions and I was touched that they were so interested in St Francis House, particularly asking questions about how people got on and how conflict is resolved.  Beth and Ariadne talked to them about their hopes to produce a book and a documentary on our visit and asked them for ideas about linking up when we return.

The conversation was then joined by someone working with children in Gaza and another group of thirteen year olds from the States!

We hope to do the same thing in October, when hopefully Mary, our fifth delegate, will be with us.

After the skyping we had a meeting addressing practicalities of our travels and found a relatively inexpensive ticket option on line which we will be able to book once we have our visas.  Our projected travel date is 17/18 December and we will stay for two weeks or perhaps a few days more.

I am enjoying getting to know the other women and working together to make this journey possible.

My Becoming Friends companion at Oxford Quakers, Gwithian, has suggested that we set up a support group for me  from Friends at the Meeting.  This is something that Quakers do for community members who are contemplating doing something out of the ordinary or particularly difficult.  Our first meeting is on Wednesday and Beth, who lives in Oxford and has been associated with Quakers, will join us.

It is comforting to kow that my two journeys, towards Quaker faith and life and to Afghanistan, are so closely linked.

In the little red book, “Advices and Queries”, used by Quakers in Britain,  no. 27 urges us to “live adventurously”.  Recently, for me, this has meant the possibility of travelling to Afghanistan.

Last year my friend, Maya Evans, went to Afghanistan with Voices for Creative Nonviolence and on her return gave talks about her experiences.  I had always thought that my days of travel abroad were over, after time spent in the United States, Madagascar and Cameroon.  Indeed, I had announced to all and sundrie that I would not renew my passport and would give up air travel because of the environmental damage it does.  I should have remembered the words, “a foolish consistancy is the hobgoblin of the narrow mind”.  Maya encouraged me to think about joining her on her next visit as part of the first British Delegation of VCNV.

The main reason for my joining the delegation is that for the last eight years I have lived and worked in a House of Hospitality for asylum seekers in Oxford, St. Francis House.  The house is part of the Oxford Catholic Worker community and since I have been there we have given hospitality to six Afghan asylum seekers.  Maya said she felt my direct experience would be of value and that perhaps links could be made between our guests and the young people we will be staying with in Kabul.

Apart from the flying, my main reason for not going is that I am visually impaired and a senior citizen.  I felt I might be a liability.  Maya spoke to Kathy Kelly, who started VCNV and who knows me, and they felt it would not be an obstacle.

VCNV hsa been working for some time with a group in Kabul called Afghan Peace Volunteers.  They believe in creating nonviolent ways of resolving conflict and in reconciliation.  At the end of this article I shall put web addresses for VCNV, APV and any other groups I mention.

Our delegation has five members and we met for the first time last week end.  At this point I won’t say too much about the others as they too have online journals .  Suffice it to say that I found our first meeting invaluable and inspiring.

This journal has the headline “Reflections on a Journey in Faith” so I will confine myself to my own musings about our preparations.

We are hoping to travel to Afghanistan at the end of the year and to spend two weeks there.  Our first joint meeting was very positive and I feel a great trust in my companions.  We all feel the importance of building our community and are prepared to put energy and time into this.  After all, this is potentially a dangerous undertaking and we don’t know what may happen.  As a group we have begun to talk about this.  However, personal preparation is essential so here are some of the ways I have begun to prepare.

First, my faith in a loving God and in Jesus, whom I like to call friend and brother, is my anchor.  In my prayer I pray for courage and fidelity and, most of all, humility.  It’s possible that in the end something may prevent my going with the others but I believe that whatever happens it will be God’s will for me.  Any preparations I make will not be wasted even if I don’t make the journey.  I firmly believe that if God wants me to go to Afghanistan, I shall go.  Praying for humility is also important to me as embarking on such an adventure could be a real boost to my ego and pride; I know myself too well!

The second preparation is doing some extra reading and study on the background to Afghanistan and the present war there.  A good friend recommended “Descent into Chaos” by Ahmed Rashid and I’ve nearly finished it.  I’m also reading Norman Kember’s book, “Hostage In Iraq”.  Another member of the group has sent us links to several documentaries and other clips available on the internet.

Such reading and viewing confronts me with hash reality and sometimes heartbreaking stories.  To counteract this I am also nourishing the spirit by immersing myself in beauty through art, music and literature.  This sounds rather pompous but I’ve always been an avid reader and have also done some art history and appreciation of late.  As an act of faith that we will return safe and well,I have signed up for two course which begin next January at the Oxford University Department of Continuing Education: “Art in Focus” and “Dostoevsky: The Brothers Karamazov”.

A healthy body will be important as life will be tougher than in England.   I’m hoping to do some exercise and eat healthily in the months before we go  to give myself a good chance of coping.

I feel privileged to have been asked to go on this journey and to share the hopes of the people we will meet.

The websites for Voices for Creative Nonviolence and the Afghan Peace Volunteers are:

http://www.vcnv.org

http://www.ourjouneytosmile.com

Although I have been a Cathoic since childhood, I am now setting off on a new journey along the path of Quakerism.

My spiritual, and indeed my life journey, have been quite eventful and the path has had many twists and turns, dangerous rough patches and smooth sun filled tracks.  My faith has always been very real to me and at the age of 19 I became a nun.  During the decades which followed a thread ran through my life whereever I lived and whatever i did.  That thread is the thirst for justice and peace, spoken of by Jesus in the Beatitudes.  Thirteen years ago I met for the first time the Catholic Worker movement which practises the works of mercy and resists the works of war.  I was privileged to spend two years in the United States, living and working in Catholic Worker communities.  Since 2004 I have been part of the Oxford Catholic Worker community, giving hospitality to asylum seekers and resisting all forms of war and war making.

The Catholic Worker movement gave new life and energy to my faith and continues to do so.  Indeed, the ethos and practice were so influential that I left my religious order at the age of 62 in order to spend the rest of my life in such work. But another stream has been flowing in my spirit and now is the time for me to explore where the stream will take me.

I first net Quakers in the mid seventies when I was living and working in South Yorkshire.  I was attracted by their worship, silence and commitment to justice and peace.  My attraction did not diminsh over the years as I met many Quakers through peace and justice work.

Since coming to Oxford I have become friends with many Friends and for the first time I am seriously thinking about exploring the Quaker path with a view to seeking membership.

Prompted by a question in a book about becoming a Quaker, “Becoming Friends”, I’ve been reflecting on what treasures from Catholicism I still value and wish to keep.  On the other hand, I’ve also been thinking about what I won’t be sorry to leave behind.

On a recent retreat I reflected on these treasures and came up with several.  First, the inspiration and teachings of the Second Vatican Council which, because of my age, has been a guiding light since my teens.  Our noviciate training, thanks to a wise and inspirational novice director, was based on the documents of the Council and for many years the church was alive with all the possibilities presented by the Council’s challenges.

One of the many treasures from this period was the renewed emphasis on Scripture and the New Jerusalem Bible is still my preferred translation.  Other treasures from this time include the Liberation Theology which came from Latin America and the work of CAFOD in its radical and daring days.

Catholic social teaching, which has always been a major part of the church’s teaching, and the radical Catholic Worker movement in all its richness, are two more treasures which have enriched my life.

On a more personal note, as a teenager our family lived on a housing estate in Bradford where we were part of a new parish and that experience deepened my faith and activity.  Over the years I have been privileged to live in some wonderful parishes with a real sense of community.  As a student I experienced two fantastic Catholic Chaplaincies, at Sheffield and Southampton, both in the 1970’s, which, like the parishes I’ve already mentioned, were alive, active and gave us students a sense of belonging.

I could go on much longer in the same vein but a pattern is emerging and I can see that what I really value about my experience as a catholic is the challenge and sense of belonging, inspired by the Gospels, which I have received over the decades.  These treasures of Catholicism will never leave me but they are either in the past or are no longer valued by many of the leaders of the church.